Good News

Last week, while at a friend's baseball game, I received a somewhat devastating phone call. My new manager called me to tell me that while the company has been receiving negative press, this will not be affecting my offer -- not that I hoped it would -- this was the good news. The bad news came in the form of finding out that while I was expecting to start work on May 3 (next Monday), my team was based in New York, and wouldn't be here until mid July. This would mean that I would have to find another interim job. As much as that disappointed me, I was happy to know that my manager will be one of the ladies who interviewed me, and I think that she is absolutely awesome. I can't wait to start work with her.

So, I had begun to start looking for a temp job, ceased the apartment/house hunt, and decided to settle here until the end of the summer. It just seemed a little strange to me that I was going to be staying put for another four months, especially when I had felt so strongly that I would not be here all summer. BUT then again... my apartment complex has an amazing pool, and no one can deny the joy at being told that you will get to play at the pool your last summer of school. And like I had begun the job hunt, I began the pool prep (workouts, shaving cream, new swimsuits, anti-cellulite lotion (I'll let you know if it works)).

The day after I got my new summer supplies squared away I got a phone call. It turned out to be my HR correspondent, and while I expected nothing other than a confirmation that I wouldn't be starting until July, he told me that my team is interested in having me come out to New York for training. Standard company-wide training is in New York in mid-July. So I knew that I'd be heading out there, but as the conversation continued, he told me that they were interested in having me come out to New York in mid-May. After looking over my schedule, we decided on May 10th as a start date.

I still have to wait a few days until we get my flights and housing set up, but I think I've been smiling for two days straight. I'm going to get to be in New York City for about three months for training. I am so excited. I know that the apartments for company-wide training are located in Manhattan, and I can't wait to find out where I'll be working and living. It kind of feels like something from a movie.

Graduation

I can now say that I am a college graduate! It is honestly a strange feeling. For a while I was thinking about how much better it would feel if I had attended classes my last semester, but I've realized that graduation is an awesome thing regardless of what you were doing your last semester. Just today I was looking at classes, but I know I can't take any because I'm going to be starting work soon. I am going to be a real adult. No more spending large amounts of time socializing with friends, no more spending entire afternoons quilting, no more spur of the moment vacations. This is going to be quite the change.

Moments

It's moments like this when I just love life. I'm a little worried about losing friends over my personal stresses that I've extended into friendships, but looking out my window, feeling the warm spring breeze flow through my curtains and listening to Tim McGraw, I know that moments like this are what I live for. I'll find someone to share moments like this with one day, but there are a few things I'm going to miss from moments like this in my past.

Election Day Clam Chowder

Ford Explorers

Bracelets

Good Summer Music

Motorcycles

Midnight Drink Runs

Grilled Food

Yoo Hoos

Pools

Kenny Chesney

Sunsets in Nevada

Mustangs

6th of July Fireworks

Catalina 22's

I Want

When life seems chaotic and disappointing, it's easy to become discouraged. But, even though there are some days that I'm hurt, and all I want to do is scowl at every creature that dares bug me, I'm drawn to the realization that today is the day to be the person that I want to be.

And I'm excited to know that I get to shape myself into the human being that I want to be.I want to be a woman who takes good care of herself. This means getting dressed before 2:00 in the afternoon like I do sometimes, and it means working out regularly and eating healthy. No more chocolate days where all I eat is cake.

I want to be gracious to those around me. To give thanks to those who help me and to spend my time helping and focusing on others. And actually write thank you notes for people who are awesome.

I want to be organized. I want to keep my room perfectly in order, keep my laundry caught up, and be punctual in everything I do.

I want to keep a budget. Make sure that I'm being responsible with my money and saving for a rainy day. ALWAYS keep expenditures less than income.

I want to take the time to enjoy nature (while fulfilling all of my responsibilities). I want to make sure that I take time away to go camping, or rock climbing, or sailing. Just do whatever to remember that God wants me to be joyful.

I want to take the time to study the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yes, I read the scriptures, but I want to really study. To gain knowledge and understanding, and hopefully to be able to share that with others.

I want to be able to make the hard decisions in life, and to carry forward and onward without looking back. This is one things that I haven't been doing great recently, but I think I'm ready to finally do it.

I want to keep my commitments..... even if that's something as simple as sending an e-mail within an hour. I want to be someone that people know that they can always count on.

I want to keep my priorities in order, and I know, that as I live with a focus on the teachings of Jesus Christ, I'll be able to do that. And my priorities will make more sense.

And I want to be a better person tomorrow than I was today.

First Few Blossoms

Sometime in the past week, I noticed what I've been looking for:

The trees are finally starting to blossom. The weather is warming up, and I've already spent some time on a motorcycle. And, although I'm mourning my lack of sailing this season, I'm really very thankful for this simple sign of hope.

Yesterday I went to a park to enjoy the warmth of the sun, and as I laid on my blanket, I looked up at the pretty white blossoms of a tree. If I was quiet enough I could hear the three bees buzzing around it, and the bird that kept flying around behind me. It was so pretty, and I'm so thankful that God gave that moment to me. The intricate balance of nature is amazing and the beautiful blue sky against the pretty white flowers with little green and pink in their centers caught me in awe.

And I couldn't help but feel hopeful for the future. I don't know exactly what it holds, but as spring is a time for new beginnings (Birthday, Graduation, Moving, New Job), it's quite appropriate. For even as the snows of winter melt away to reveal the beauty of new blossoms with time, things will look up. Keep going. Because, although things may get tougher before they get better--they WILL get better.

HOPE

Excitement!

I am so excited!

It was just last night that I started counting the days until major events in my life, and this phase is quickly coming to a close. Next week is my birthday. Two weeks from now is my graduation, and I start work three or four weeks from now.

I can't believe it's coming so quickly. I haven't decided on a place to live yet. I'm still waiting to hear about some work assignments, but once I do, I'll get to sign a lease and move up towards Salt Lake. This is absolutely exciting! I can't wait. (Though, if I don't move right away, I'll have to leave my apartment at 5:30 every morning!)

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

I read this with a friend today, and it felt quite appropriate for my blog, because "today is [my] day" in honor of my upcoming graduation. I kind of feel like I'm in the "Slump" right now, but at least my name isn't "Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea." And, boy am I excited about the places I'll go; I can't wait to get on my way!

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Without Water

I really do feel like a sailor stuck in the desert, now more than ever. This feeling comes for many reasons. One of them being that I'm tired of fighting so hard, and things don't really seem to be getting much better.Personally, I survive on my friendships, and I hate the way things are awkward now. I don't know which direction to move. I keep trying to take a step forward, but then my foot gets stuck in quicksand, and I have to reevaluate the situation with each step. It feels like I'm sinking rather than progressing. At this point, I find comfort in knowing that I can just try my best to be the person that I want to be, and then keep my actions in line with that person, and pray that the Lord will lead me.

From the looks of it, the BYU Sailing Club has seen some of its last days. There's a new regulation on clubs this year, and ours doesn't seem to have passed. I don't want to take this without a fight. It was the BYU Sailing Club that gave me some of my best college memories, and it was my leadership experience with the club that got me my job. I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to come into a club that was so dependent on its student leaders. It was great. Anything that we wanted to do was possible. That meant trips to sail in southern waters when it was too cold here. It meant parties to celebrate 10 years of successful sailing. It meant races to challenge the skills of the students. It meant new regulations as desired by students to meet the changing needs of the club. This club was a big part of what made my college experience great, and it's quite painful watching it go down.