Unreal

Sometimes I sit back and can't believe where I'm at now. So many of my friends and family are married with kids or expecting, and I always thought I'd be one of them. Instead I'm (legally) single and pursuing a career. I expected I'd have 1-2 kids by the time I turned 23.

I remember when I was college I felt like graduation without marriage was a little bit of a failure. It's not that anyone told me that, but part of it was the perception of danger and risk knowing that I would be alone once I actually stretched my own wings and flew the coop (my family). What I've found is a strange world of freedom and little responsibility, and I get stressed every now and then with the thought of suddenly taking upon myself the responsibility of my family dreams and goals. Suddenly I will have a real tangible obligation, and I don't want to let my sweetheart down.

Little did I realize in college that I've never been alone, and graduation wouldn't change that. It was 4 years ago this month that I met Branden. We met on the lake. We slowly fell in love--though if you ask him, he ordered me out of a prayer, and would tell you that he went home the night we met and told his roommates that he wanted to marry me--thing is, he never told me that. I waited about a month for us to to drop the L-word, and 6 months after that for him to tell me he wanted to marry me.

Ever since the day we met (May 8, 2007), Branden has been there for me. Though the ups and the downs. Or when one of us was trying to force ourselves to let go. I don't think either of us ever completely let go. We always held onto that hope. The hope that we'd continue to receive the strength we found in one another.

I was living in New York the summer of 2010, but somehow it didn't seem complete without him. I guess it never did seem really whole without him.

And now the time has come for us to live our dreams. To let go of fears, and to enjoy the comfort and strength that is ours.

<3