Without Water

I really do feel like a sailor stuck in the desert, now more than ever. This feeling comes for many reasons. One of them being that I'm tired of fighting so hard, and things don't really seem to be getting much better.Personally, I survive on my friendships, and I hate the way things are awkward now. I don't know which direction to move. I keep trying to take a step forward, but then my foot gets stuck in quicksand, and I have to reevaluate the situation with each step. It feels like I'm sinking rather than progressing. At this point, I find comfort in knowing that I can just try my best to be the person that I want to be, and then keep my actions in line with that person, and pray that the Lord will lead me.

From the looks of it, the BYU Sailing Club has seen some of its last days. There's a new regulation on clubs this year, and ours doesn't seem to have passed. I don't want to take this without a fight. It was the BYU Sailing Club that gave me some of my best college memories, and it was my leadership experience with the club that got me my job. I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to come into a club that was so dependent on its student leaders. It was great. Anything that we wanted to do was possible. That meant trips to sail in southern waters when it was too cold here. It meant parties to celebrate 10 years of successful sailing. It meant races to challenge the skills of the students. It meant new regulations as desired by students to meet the changing needs of the club. This club was a big part of what made my college experience great, and it's quite painful watching it go down.

Crazy few weeks

For those of you who don't know....

My life has become a bit complicated. My relationships with my two best friends has become strained. And while I usually just love life, there have been times where I can't even stand knowing that I'm the reason that my friends now have complicated lives as well.

It has been a crazy few weeks. BUT -- I have to say that even with all the heartache and frustration, I'm thankful for the opportunities that I have to learn from it.

This is why my blog has not been updated. This is why I don't know what's appropriate to put on my blog and what's not, and this is why it'll be a little while before I add any significant updates.

I'll keep you updated--once I can think clearly enough to write.

Dreams...

It's hard letting go of dreams. I just read through some posts that my friends have written recently, and it made my mind go forward--imagining what my life will be like in the future when I'm married and beginning to have kids. I can honestly say that it makes me sad knowing that I won't be sharing those things with Branden. This has been a really tough step for me. I love him, but I honestly believe that (for now at the very least) it's better that he and I are just friends. It's been hard coming to terms with the fact that I won't be there with him through life's ups and downs, and that it won't be him who holds my hand through the major events in my life. I suppose this is just another important part of life though...holding my head high and trying to do what's right even when it's tough.

Video Logs

I just got back from a nice long trip to Washington and California. I'll write more about it later, but for now, here are my video logs that I did while I was in California. Please forgive the awkward endings to each one. I never know how to end them.

California Video Log Day 1


California Video Log Day 2


California Day 2: Crazy People Swimming


California Day 3: Before Surfing


California Day 3: After Surfing



California Day 4 Won't Load

California Day 5

First semester without school...

Well, I know that I've been absent this past month, but there is a good reason for that... turns out that when I'm not in school, I don't spend so much time avoiding stuff that I have to or should be doing, and I don't seem to have as much time for following or writing blogs. In this past month, I've been spending a ridiculous amount of time with friends, I've re-watched the first season of LOST, and I'm working my internship. If you want to see what I've been up to, check out http://www.bighearthumanitarian.org/documents.php I wrote the newsletters for January and February. I write these to help the sponsors keep up with what's going on with the organization, with the children they sponsor in Guatemala, and with a sponsor of the month.

I'm working on getting things really moving with the organization, and I'm thankful that I'm getting this opportunity. Good news is that there will be some awesome posts about my travels that I'm going on in February. It's been a lot of work getting ready for them.

Fun New Opportunities

This month has been a fun one! I love getting good photos to use, and I enjoy goofing off in front of a camera. One of my friends is a photography student at BYU, and one of my old roommates is a hair and makeup artist. And while I never expected to do any modeling for them, I got the chance in January. I'm learning a lot about hair and makeup with these.

My first photo shoot was with Andrew. We picked outfits that would go along with the props he had picked out, and many of those were my formal dresses. I love the photos that he took. I will also say, that getting to see all of the photos is giving me a great idea of how to do better hair and makeup. Andrew is absolutely one of the most patient people that I've ever met, and it's fun to work with him. Most of everything he does is for class projects at this point, which means that most of the retouching he does is for specific class assignments.

The second photo shoot was for a bridal show. Lyn Shelley, my old roommate, partnered with James Zink. The whole idea is to improve the quality of pictures with makeup, and to encourage people to get their makeup done. Lyn does an AMAZING job! Here are some of the photos from the shoot:'

Interesting...

So, while I was looking up the phone number and location for the BYU dry-cleaning, I found this little gem. It was an interesting read. There are just about 40 posts, and it doesn't look like it's been updated in about a year and a half. It's a collection of little known facts relative to BYU students. Check it out.

http://byusecrets.blogspot.com/